


Betraying Her Love

by bluefeathergirl



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra introspection, F/F, Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), catra loves adora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25738789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluefeathergirl/pseuds/bluefeathergirl
Summary: Catra has a moment of self-reflection the day after she gave Adora her She-Ra sword back.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Kudos: 8





	Betraying Her Love

**Author's Note:**

> To my dear readers,
> 
> Since you're patiently waiting for the new chapter of my other fic... I wanted to share with you this short piece I jotted down the other week (which I'd honestly completely forgotten about and I'm glad I found it!). It's just a little thing I had on my mind, of things I think Catra would bounce around in her head when alone, or write down somewhere in a journal. 
> 
> In this case, I wanted to base it off of the action she made of returning the sword to Adora in the Fright Zone and kinda delving a bit into her internal battle of the 'why.' This is to explain why Catra and others like her at times unwillingly hurt exactly the people they care so much about simply because they are hurting that badly. I know how she feels because I've been guilty of the same verbal actions sometimes. I really just want people to have a better understanding that when Catra lashes out it's not because she doesn't care but it's because she's deeply hurting and feels lost, betrayed, overwhelmed. Of course, Adora is really the only one who can work with her and tame all that, but that's for another work ;)

The more I stray away the more I feel like I am betraying her. But she betrayed me too, didn’t she? By leaving without a second thought. She asked me to come with her. But how can I do that if she made me second best? What am I supposed to do if I leave? Follow her around like a puppy? I too independent for that shit. And we both know that if I followed neither of us would be happy. She’d probably lose interest in me, and I might end up losing myself.

Yesterday I did something that made her cry. I wanted to tear her apart inside just like I feel ripped to pieces. I told her I gave her back the sword because I didn’t want her to come back to the Fright Zone. I wanted her to hurt. I wanted her to feel the burn and the void I feel inside from her loss. You want to know the raw truth? Having her around after knowing what she did hurts even more than pushing her away.

I’m fucked up for how I feel and the things I end up doing to hurt her and to hurt others around me. The more I hurt the more I want to push them away. Scorpia tries. She’s probably the only one who still does. She’s a good friend. I know soon enough I’ll end up hurting her too though. So really, it’s her own risk for being around me. I don’t know why anyone even bothers. It’s always the same thing, huh. I just can’t have anyone close. But Adora… I keep pushing the one I love most away.

There are times when we run into each other, Adora and I. We can’t seem to stop pursuing each other. And when I see her again every time… all I want to do is run to her, but something stops me, and I am just mean. I end up hurting the person I love the most in the whole world. Because I am hurting. Why doesn’t she get it? Can’t she tell I am in pain? What will it take for her to rescue me from myself?


End file.
